Sometimes, you can see many examples of good and bad side fight, well... can't say it like that, since all things happen to our life must have 2 choices, is it good or bad? just, sometimes you realize it or don't. The examples of course, is what happen in our surrounding and we can be part of it or just watch it or just hear it from others stories.

Yesterday, I happened to experience it and just realized it in the afternoon. Actually, this is even not the first time, but I think this one is a huge thing. I admit that I am not a good person, I can be good or bad sometimes. But, somehow, I realize that I can't be a very bad person, the bad thing that I've done feels like nothing compare to an expert bad person did.

A situation came up, the boss is out of town for 2 days on next week, suddenly my team work friend "x" asking whether we want to absent on the day boss out, and join her former team work friends to go out of town, a one day trip.

As usual, I don't like the idea of going anywhere, sneaking on office hour, taking a huge risk to get fired. So I said to her, no, I am not going anywhere since next week my stomach will be ache and I am not feeling want to go anywhere with it.

While my other team work friend "y" get excited to hear the idea, and cheers so loud, feels like she is winning a lottery or something. But on the same time, she feel very nervous about it, "how are we going to make it?" she asked.

Then both of them started to make lots of scenario for it. I just kept working and staring at my computer, while listening to their plans. I laughed sometimes seeing my friend "y" is like 'yes i want to go, i want to go, but how to make it perfect without problem' kind of thing in her face.

Then my friend "x" said to me that I must be think that she is nuts. I just smiled at her, well... she admit it, not me saying the words.
Then my friend "y" said she used to be a normal and sane person, until she met "x", and she get dragged by her. Well... that's her choice, right?

On my way back home, while walked to take a bus, I just realized that the situation is like I always read in a bible. You see, a devil will use everything to lure a human to follow the devil way, the wrong path, by giving the wide road with lots of light that sparkle in lots of color, accompanied with music that you love, what you do not see is at the end of that path, you will get down to the deep black hole.

While an angel will give you just bore and plain road with only candle lights to lighten up your path, the only promise an angel could give is a safe promise from God, no bad thing will happen to you at the end of the path.

I never said that an angel in this story is me, never, I am far from it, but you see, there are always 2 options given for us in everything, all you have to choose is yes or no, take it or leave it.

I want to be bad too, take a trip to some place, but I felt that it is just not right. There is time for everything, time to eat, time to work, time to play, time to drink, time to study, time to sleep, just don't mix it up in a very radical way.

My mom always says that I am a strict person, like a wire, so hard to make it wavy. I know she is right, she is always right when it comes to me.

I just hope that God will keep the candle light in my path so I can see and not fallen to that deep black hole, Amin.


Just a thought of my own.


08 04 10
blue lovers