February 3rd, 2011, is Chinese New Year, supposed to be a very very very happy event for me. However, this year, not so happy for me, since my grandma (from my father) passed away last year, so I kinda miss her, miss to hug her, miss to make her smile, miss her shout when I'm doing bad.

However, what I don't expect is, a very very humiliate and disrespect behavior (from my own opinion) coming from a very very very inside person from my mother family members, and forgive me, for I can't accept such attitude.

Normally, when my late grandma still alive, the route on that big day is going to my grandma (from my mother) firstly, then after two hours there, we go to the next stop, my late grandma house. So, we arrived very early on the first grandma's house, thus, we don't meet many family members.

This year, we go on the normal route, because it is what we know, and we didn't ever think to change it, besides, I'm borrowing my aunt's car, so I should be there before 12 pm, my aunt need to visit other relatives house also, as a routine tradition.

So, when we visited on my first grandma's house, we stayed there for around 2 hours, and then we're preparing to leave to the next stop, guess what my aunts (from my mother side) said out loud to my mother in front of everyone including my father, "Sis, why you have to leave so soon? your mother in-law is not there anymore". There... I stopped to do everything I should do behind the steer wheel for a moment, and I can feel my eyes open so wide of shock, even my cousins heard it shouted to his mother "whooooaaaaa". I don't want to look again just move the car backward and wave hand then left.

I realize later, that the other aunt asking me while I am exiting the toilet "when you will go after this?" I said, "to PIK", and then she asked "why? grandma is not there anymore", then I just said " I have to return the car anyway, I borrow it", I never ever ever think her questions is a negative one on the first place, but now I know.

You see, blame me for who I am, I am a very conservative person, but that does not mean you have to leave good manner aside if you are not a conservative one, am I right? that's the difference between human and animal right? my aunts are not animal, right?

Then now, I can't help to think that they are the worst persons I have ever knew in my life so far, Jesus Christ, it's not my grandma passed away thousand years ago, it's only last year, not counting that it is not even a year, yet. So, I should just forget her? erase her from my memory? never consider that she even ever exist in this world? what they were thinking when they said that? have they ever felt sorry after saying that? Do they know that it might break my father heart when he heard it?

I complaint about it to my mom, and she just said, just let it go, don't take their words in your heart, but how can I not to? my mom also said then you don't be like them, I said in my heart, off course I'm not, I'm not that crazy as they are. But, who will let them know that what they said is wrong and might turn their words to themselves, who? the reason I complaint to my mom is to make my mom teach them a lesson. But it never happened.

So, please don't ever asking me to have respect on those aunts, mom, because they don't respect all of the people I loved at all. Maybe, they even don't respect you as their big sister, mom.

Perhaps I should feel pity on all person close to my aunts, don't ever think that my aunts will feel sorrow when you are dead, because they will forget you the next day after you have been buried or cremated, and they already have fun at all malls in Jakarta. for my other grandma, did you scold them when you heard that also on that day? maybe I will be the one who remember you in my heart also, not them. Don't expect them to come to Cimone when you have gone also, grandma.

The world is really really change now, not in a good direction, but in a bad direction, just be prepared for the worst. The humanity will extinct, soon.

God, I am sorry, I do not have the courage to forgive and forget them right now, maybe after a hundred years, because I have a very good memories and it last long in my brain.

:'(


so, be carefull on each words comes out from your mouth, or it will come back to you....
Gosh, I even cried when edited this :''(