What do they see that I don't see ... in me?

Should I be the one who know myself really are, shouldn't I?

Then why? they're telling me that I'm good in what I do, then shouldn't they appreciate me and my result with good and fair compensation, not just with their words?

Also, how do they know I am that good if they're not even check all my results? what if there are many mistakes I have done in it, will I be that same good in their eyes and mind?

well, have done a mistake that not entirely caused by me, but, I got the biggest slap. Maybe, this is what fair means in their world, not mine.

Fiuuuh, I'm just an ordinary person, that doing an ordinary task and produce an ordinary result. So many people below me, but so much people above me too. So, please, don't add up more and more burden, it is already as high as a mountain from where I see.

Maybe .... in this case ... I'm the idiot ... can be fooled by them.

Hopefully, O God, I really do hope and pray, that for the last choice that I'll make, is not a mistake anymore, but it's the right one, the everlasting and the peaceful one. That I'll do happily for the rest of my days ahead. Make my mind more clever in choosing than I used to. Amen.

P.s.
at this moment, just this moment, really want to throw all the task to the wall, and walking away... why just this moment? because I know tomorrow they'll already stuck up on my back tidily.

Friends, thank you for still at my side, because whenever I'm with you all, I know that I 'll be far from stress and other trouble that haunting me.

Good night and sleep tight

20 01 11

lynn